file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - thank you ColorMePanda,
for your words: file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - Put immigration aside for a while…I forget to do that sometimes.
- file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - a year ago my biggest concern was to look at maps and decide
what road to ride my motorcycle on. file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - love is an action word. love is a
verb, it is something that you do, it is not an object, it cannot be
given, or withheld, or lost. file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - like swimming, or walking, or shopping, or traveling, it
requires an active participant, it is something one must do to enjoy. one must
swim to enjoy the benefit of swimming, there is small pleasure in talking about
swimming or thinking about swimming... you cannot give or receive swimming...
you cannot give me a walk or take one from me, but like walking or swimming,
once one learns to love, it becomes portable, a skill you can enjoy on a
moments notice, instantly and always available... you can do it anywhere...and
once you have discovered the wonderful secret... once you give yourself
permission to love again you also suddenly find you have the ability to love
again... the mass of love does not require proximity, file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - that is the essence of the secret, like success and
happiness, love becomes accidentally, almost unavoidably, stumbled upon along ones
path. file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
thinking of this has reminded me of my first best friend i ever had. we were 5
years old together, his name was Bobby Fletcher, he was Italian, at least his
parents were. file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - i remember one particular afternoon playing in my
grandmothers driveway beside her house in the city of Toronto Ontario. we were digging with shovels, i remember the
day, it was warm, i forget how or why i knew but i knew the world was round
like a ball and at that time i held the mistaken opinion that china was directly the opposite side of the globe to
me. we had just started playing with the two shovels because they were there,
but as we started digging i began to tell the story of how china was on the
bottom of the globe and if we dug a hole far enough we would actually come out
in china. as we continued to dig and as we discussed the situation we talked
about how under the world then people would be upside down even tho they were
standing up... and bobby kept asking if we would be hanging upside down holding
on to the ground with our feet sticking up in the air if we went there through
the tunnel. the more i thought about it the more scary and disturbing the
situation looked, and i shared each fear with my best friend as we continued to
dig. i do not remember when it turned from playing with shovels to actually
digging a hole to china but i wasn't paying attention to bobby when i started
explaining that if we crawled head first then we would be facing the right way
when we came out of the tunnel... bobby wanted to know how we could stick to
the bottom of the ball... how did i know we wouldn't just fall off the
world...and to be honest, i didn't know and couldn't even think it through
properly... we were only 5. to make a complicated scene simple, i was surprised
when bobby threw his shovel down and refused to dig anymore, then he ran home
instead of playing...just as i was becoming most excited and enthusiastic about
the project... this was before i even knew what a project was...and i knew i
couldn't dig the tunnel without him and i didn't even want to... it was a
confused and scary and painful event and i am afraid i came to include it in my
definition of friendships... yes, i will say if asked, friendships 'will' contain
those moments... a good friendship should have all the elements of any relationship....
they will experience everything together after all.
i have not seen my friend bobby for over 15 years, i still consider us lifetime
friends.
it occurs to me that i headed for china over 50 years ago....i’m still glad
that we landed in the upright position. file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - Shugui and I file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - opps, file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - i have been aligning my emanations with a glowing being on
the other side of the world. We were chatting one night in e-mails, as
modern lovers seem to do, and I told her the story of my first best friend. file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
there was a moment at the Beijing airport when i first cleared customs and was
walking towards the crowd of people waiting. i had planned to recognize Shugui
instantly, had i not poured over her pics and even completed a painting of
her...we were going to run into each others arms...i had it all imagined...
i nervously approached a little group of people, the driver, the interpreter,
and this other girl standing there...i looked at them all and sensed they were
as nervous as me, we spoke and i talked english with the interpreter, i look at
the person talking, it is just the way i am, but my attention was to the girl
standing off to the side...i looked around and Shugui was holding back, nervous
as a kitten, i knew her best at that moment by looking into my own heart... i
knew instantly how she was feeling because i found the same feeling in
myself... but as i looked, i noticed...many things...many things...i looked
back at the interpreter...and heard myself say...is this the girl i came to
meet...is this Shugui? ...
file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - needless to say we do not always look like what we look like
in our photographs. file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - the interpreter calls me aside and says... there are other
younger and prettier girls who would like to meet you, would you like to meet
with some of them while you enjoy your visit to china...
maybe it was the look of horror on my face... she then tried to explain...at
the agency I had received many admirer e-mails that I had never replied to, she
knew that some of those girls wanted to meet me, … some of the men like to meet
several girls and then make their decision...i should never have heard her say
these thing but then she says… there are many younger and prettier girls…
i heard myself trying to explain that i had not come to china to find the
youngest or the prettiest girl, i had come to find the girl that loved me the
most... i had come to china to meet with my new best friend...
and was that the girl over there because she didn't look anything like her
picture.
there was the time when we had gone for our marriage pics, we walked into the
little shop, had the polaroid done, then watched as the girl fixed the pic in
photoshop. gone are the age spots on my forehead, wrinkles around the
eyes, poof, that scar hole from the hugest pimple i ever had between my eyes,
taken care of...wrinkles, lines, poof poof!
it was amazing to watch as the years and the battle signs peeled off, they had
the same photoshop as i have at home on my computer...there you go she said in
chinese... then it was off to the registry office to have our marriage licences
completed with our new photos...
it was that moment that explained everything about pictures to me. file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - a couple of people asked me why i wanted a chinese girl...
i told them, i had not set out for a chinese girl, i had not wanted a chinese
girl, per say…
they would get all flustered and blustery...well, you just married a chinese
girl so you had better want one...
thing was i registered at the site, the first mail i opened i liked the
picture, then i really liked the letter... then i found myself enjoying the
writing... and the replies...
i;ve already explained about the photo... we are all a few years older than our
photos... but one night i asked her about that first letter...
she doesn't remember the things she said, i hardly remember my first letter
either, but she denies saying some of those things, .. i guess the
interpretters send the first mails to get things going... its common
practice, these girls do not ordinarily approach men and they seldom begin
anything... so the agency represents them...in the chinese way... file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - this might not all sound like bragging, but I am struck
about how I fell in love with the girl behind the profile, it is difficult to
explain how I loved her even before I got a chance to meet her, yes I had
fallen in… something.. with a glamour photo and yes, my attention had been
grabbed by the words of an interpreter… ( I am still busy convincing myself it
was the pretty girl I was writing to not the fat sweaty guy who worked there…)
i shudder to tell my story... i liked the first letter and i loved the
picture...
i really do love this girl, it just feels good to be with her. file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml - I wrote my boss at work the whole story and in her reply she
said something like...
that girl must be hardly able to believe what just happened, like winning the
lottery, a true cinderella story...
it struck me as true, we will seem like rich people to her
but i like my boss’s file:///C:%5CUsers%5Csven%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml -
|