Jamaican cases

PLEASE READ THIS.  IT IS HYSTERICAL.!!!!  ONLY JAMAICANS COULD FIND A WAY TO MAKE THIS INCIDENT FUNNY.

THANK GOD NO LIVES WERE LOST…..A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.

An American Airlines plane crashed and broke in two after landing at the Norman Manley International Airport in Kingston a short while ago. The aircraft carried over 145 passengers and crew most of them Jamaicans returning home. Boardlane TV news was on site to interview some of the passengers that were able to speak to us about the events that took place after the crash.

Boardlane TV: Hi sir could you could you give us a moment and tell us how are you feeling and what happened when you realized your flight crashed?

Lincoln: Lady mi sey a Jah save wi cause a di back mi dey enoh Miss and all of a sudden mi si di miggle a di plane hice up ina di air and a dat time mi a penny sey di rahtid sinting bruck ina 2. Mi all si wan suitcase drap outta di ova head bin siting and lick out wan white man flat a grung. Im mite ina di plane still kunk out an cyan git up cause everybody tep ova im ... man an woman a try cum outt before di plane boom up!

Boardlane TV : No one stopped to assist the injured man?

Lincoln: Look yah lady when plane boom flick pan dry land is all about survival yuh no seeit.. Every man fi dem self cause yuh noh know if all a nex suitcase a goh shoot out fram di ova head sinting an lick yuh out.. Trus mi!

Boardlane TV : Ok sir thanks very much and glad you are Ok.. Miss Over here. Can you tell us how you feel and give us some insights on what took place on your flight?

Matilda: Glorry Glorry… I sey Glorrrrrreeeeeeee!! Lady a cyan talk … Sweeet Jesas. A nearly si di coming of mi Creata an mi nat even a wear desent drawz.. I sey Glorrrrrreeeeeeee!! Alli-jullaaa!!!

Celine: Mi cyan fine mi mummy. Yuh si har fi mi?

Boardlane TV: No but maybe you can describe her and we can get some help for you.

Celine: Mi mummy have wan b@tty big <<soh>> an wear wan Burgundy head weave..an har finga nail dem have Chrismuss tree paint pan dem.. When di plane crash shi tek aff an run wey lef mi… like shi figat sey shi have pickney pan di plane wid har.. Dats how shi behave when har head tek har yuh mam ..shi noh memba nutten bout mi.

Boardlane TV : Oh no. Go to the officer and find some help. Be safe. Let’s get one more comment from this gentleman. Hi sir do you care to comment on the incident that just took place?

Percy: Sure I would loves to comments. Miss Lady, I and my mistress was in the bock aff di plane han was very hestinguished when wi realize dot di plane do nat landed good pan di runaway. So I jess tell di mistress to pick up di suitcase dem han faller backa me.

Boardlane TV : You made her carry both suitcases by herself?

Percy : What mek yuh hosk? Yuh noh si how shi strapting an have trang back? A wan cow dis yuh noh lady! Anyways hofta shi falla backs a me, wi truck aff troo di side exit door an landed ina wan whole heapa gravel. Si hall my helbow chip up fram di rackstone dem an yuh si mi mistress nat even get a scrotch how shi tough. Dats why mi loves her so. A very trong women dis. Wi aroight dowes.. just wont to find a batroom now fi change mi brief. Mi cyan ston ina di pee-pee no longer..