Common-Law -- formal ceremony?

I can relate, Ecapatos! I stressed over that whole issue for a looong time.

We already know that we want to have some kind of reception here next year for friends and family in Japan to celebrate the start of our new life together in Canada. We just hadn't made any definite plans because we hadn't even finished filling in the forms yet. Then we saw that question and immediately panicked and started to look into booking somewhere now for next spring, thinking that my partner's app wouldn't go through if we didn't have some kind of ceremony or at least proof of one coming up.

Then a friend asked me how many people do I know who have had a ceremony or reception for living together and if I had ever heard of such a thing. I just looked at her, blinked and went "Oh yeah. Good point."

I realized answering that question with a yes was more likely for those who are in a situation where a legal marriage is not an option and thus have commitment ceremonies, etc. as IslandGirl pointed out. So, we went with a simple, honest, logical answer.

In the end, simple is best.

Thanks for the post, IslandGirl! Glad to see you again! And looove your signature line! LOL

Btw...I am on an island too...just trying to get off the island and back to Canada with my man!

Hi Ecapatos! In Japan, I think younger generations are a little more accepting of the whole living together thing but if a young couple is living together, they still try to keep that fact from their parents. My partner and I aren't really feeling pressure from anyone about getting married. We do want to get married in the future so I think that is why we are not getting the pressure...everyone just figrues that it will be the natural progression down the road for us.

As for my partner's mother, she is fully aware of us living together and is fine with it. I think though, that mainly has to do with the fact that she is getting on in years, my partner is the baby of the family and in his 30s, so she is just glad to know that he found someone and won't be alone. If we were a bit younger, maybe she wouldn't approve so much.

I think Japan and Korea are pretty similar in a lot of things like that! The common-law thing is similar in that it is not legally recognized, it is still pretty rare and parents wouldn't approve, but among peers, it is probably not that big a deal.

Hi Peachy, it's nice to hear from someone who's going through exactly the same thing my partner and I are going through now.  I totally agree with your point of view about ceremonies for common-law: having a ceremony for marriage is the norm, but I also can't even think of other Canadian friends who held a "now-we're-moving-in-together" event!

What are people's attitudes like towards common-law in Japan? Here in Korea (within our circles at least) common-law is not something to boast too loudly about. Is there a lot of pressure for you and your partner to marry?

ecapatos...you could mention that there is no such thing in South Korea as a formal ceremony for common-law since it is not legally recognized there but that your partner's family held a reception to celebrate the beginning of your common-law relationship.

I am going through the same thing right now with my common-law partner in Japan. Our applications are currently at CIC-M and we are just waiting on word whether or not I will be approved as sponsor.

We didn't even have a small party to mark the beginning of common-law stage of our relationship. To be honest, after a lot of stress and worry about how to answer that question, I realized that I don't know anyone (even back in Canada, where common-law is recognized) who had a formal ceremony for moving in together.

My advice would be to explain about the reception you did have, who held it for you, why it was small and intimate with only immediate family members and how there is nothing legally recognizing common-law status in South Korea. After all, if there was no ceremony, you can't go back and make one up, plus there are many countries who do not legally recognize common-law unions thus would not have any type of formal ceremony for such.

The fact that your partner's family held a party for you would likely be a plus in your favour!

That is just my two cents...perhaps others on here might have other points of view and some "been there, done that" advice for you.